Will you marry me?

A decade ago meant, please let me know you will be with me despite all these changes occurring so fast, you will care for me, no matter what path i chose. Everything was changing so fast in the begging of the twenties and there was so much novelty, choice, promise . The question was a desperate gesture. Romantic too, all i need is love and everything else i will make fall in to place. But i need you to offer ,swear, that is it for ever. That unlike all else your love is solid, stable, immobile. Even though everyone liked the adrenalin of changes. The wedding it self was not important. But the question weighed more than space it self. It was impossible to take it lightly. The question to me meant the end of what ever up until than was the joy of possibility. The question, cut the romance, the play, the discovery ,right in its core and said: just him, just this, until you die. I needed to explore. Not all romance was meant to last. There where degustations, tastings of worlds and differences. Adventures trough cultures, ideas, trough minds and bodies, a lot of learning.Somtimes it lasted days,sometimes months but the subconcious hunt for the one never really let it over run .

At times the intoxication felt like love, though it was more of a fire work.

There where not many mistakes, each encounter thrilled, changed the programme, informed the mind and spirt and lead onto the next, level of being and seeking. There was a point the question became a token for my belt of vanity. A souvenir for a cynical and arrogant youth whose key of attraction was in fact the lack of interest for such ideas. And when the quotidian became a life style more extreme with choices that every day could transport the body to a different Continent, to live in a different city, live entirely different lifestyles and means,than i wanted to hear the question. The safety of the eternal promise. I searched for it in reflections of puppy dogs eyes of the pretties faces. I wanted results, fast concoctions, which to where followed by fast effervescence.

When it stopped being about having one person promise to be there for the other, and it became two people wanting together to create something. To create, to go together, balance between dreams of both with intentions of realising all. Well than it happened. Will you marry me, became a concept rather pleasing. The promise liberating.