I had stopped writing the blog, because my readers on Facebook where interactive, I had so much feedback especially to the moments I am raw and open and vunerable, that I felt what I wrote mattered.
And than I decided that having facebook was unneeded preassurre. There is some sort of code aobut these social media accounts. I went between deleting randomes to wanting to have an outlook on the lives of people I have no contact with from school in England to feeling preassure / about adding people not to offend them becosue that what just do/ add people on fb. But than my raw writing was too much to share with these randoms, to have them reading my intimacy, I got more and more raw as I got to know myself- and than I just delited facebook. I felt the preassure to share to the world things that where intimate to me- faith- by a friend on her own quest that is just about faith, and I just couldn't do it any more. I delited everyone form facebook. And the marketing I could have become, I stopped being, for this cause, that was not my own.
On instagram when I share I feel like - there are consequances. To be honest people dont realy buy my work form instagram much. But once I post me riding in the forest- a friend measages instantly when will we ride? -When I like riding on my own- because it heals me. Or a distant family member tells me they want their baby room painted for free when I post a painting. Or my son breaks his hand day after I post a portrait of his looking beautiful. I cant say the energy is good. But it is a platform. And i am being observed and heard and read , and many thousands of people register as a seeing my Instagram --who never like a post. They Just stalk.
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