Out of the last four nights during which I have painted 4 portraits, the females I painted not entirely to my satisfaction and the men on the other hand in my opinion turned out beautiful.
Riccardo whom I painted tonight - explained this to me. It is the fact that painting women I feel like I will hurt their feelings unless I paint them pretty, so I try to make them pretty , and than make them look ugly as a result of the whole stress. This is so true.
I definitely feel adrenalin each time I paint someone live. Its a battle field in some way, I relax and do it ,but still there is the presence of the stress, - I hope to paint it in a way that will not hurt the feelings of my muse , and more so I hope that the muse will like it. I sometimes sacrifice wether I will like it. Last night istarted something so pretty ut different form my whole series so to not appear to eaasey idelved into Delphine and ruined the start.
Now being happy with this particular painting pust my mind at ease. I can go sleep and unwind. It is uncanny how every night I stop painting at midnight precisely. I must have angels who push me to sleep or my grandmother ghost, with various signs. Ether my baby wakes up precisely at midnight and I must stop painting, or there as tonight there are technical problems, and Riccardo, stopped being able too see me, as his battery on phone and computer went flat. Here is the baby too I can hear her form across the apartment.
Riccardo and I have experienced tons of Art fun, at all the hot art events about, form Istanbul biennale to the Italian one, and inbetween, as a part of a gang of art worshipers and firends.
Was fun to talk after years...
oh baby is crying, that's all for Tonght.
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