The marriage.

I tend to write about all kinds of nonsense. It is my escape vent- sometimes I simply need to write and than an event, or story, triggers whole pages of thematic chatter. After I have expelled a certain number of words-  and was curiously surprised as to all the different countries people read my stories from, I feel kind of happy about it. Every day , I will be happy- if I have created in the form of cooking, in the form of writing or in the form of painting. Sometimes for months I will just cook, or write, and will still be content. When I paint, I get orgasmic, but it can not happen every day.
In my writing I tend to avoid- things I am living trough in this moment. and I tend to abstain from things which matter most. My writing is always a reflection of the past, or an inspiration of small incidents or characters which exist at the edges of my world. Perhaps its because I can not give my real intimacy away to strangers, as its far too alive. This is why- I cant really write about my family- who actually matter most and I dedicate most energy to in my day.

However I have decided to say a thing or two about marriage. I am surrounded by a large number of people who have married and divorced since I have got married, and have started new lives, which may at times seem exciting, and also people who are afraid to commit to such a feat. I am still on that old traditional road heading to , where? Well I in my romantic head, when I had said yes- I believed where heading towards infinity, the forever. And we still are. Lets say marriage is a road- seemingly straight road- a safe road- which at times is broken up with  perilous rope hanging bridges- like the ones you find in the exotic mountains in documentaries,  which one must tread carefully. Than there are at times rocky boulders which turn up on that road of yours, and snakes, moose, cows, all kinds of barricades .. But there are times when you are driving along- and next to you there is beautiful scenery, and you love being where you are and whom you are with, and it is all good. What I am describing here is - close to a video game. You are driving, there are points to be won, there are elements will make you loose your balance, and there are all sorts of unpredictable and predictable things you must deal with. Right?

My husband at this time of year, spends most weekends- racing boats. On Fridays the son and I are all thrilled about our freedom, we go buy all kinds of stuff and exotic foods to have exotic supper, and than on Saturday we go out for mom and son adventures, at night I enjoy the silence of the house, the boy asleep- the freedom to do what ever, but on Sunday when the sailor comes back I'm so glad, and can't even bear him to pop over to the office, suddenly I miss him too much .

As for the annoying habits- married people have. Well when you first fall in love, you have none of course. Than with time we all produce annoying habits- which at first stun the other one.. But these too eventually become predictable- and you can take them with a hint of humour . On no he is grumpy again and in a  bad mood- and you now understand that he is probably just hungry- and you can fix it. You feed the man who every day fails to diagnose him self as such- and he stops being grumpy and annoying.. :)


There are discoveries to be made in marriage too. I mean we age and alter as we grow, and there are elements of the spouse which can really be suprising, shocking, and yet make things interesting.

Married I definitely have more freedom than I had living with my parents. Married I am definitely not as lonely as I would get at times  since starting uni and living alone . There are lots of shades of satisfaction produced during the day as you complete all those thing you need to do just because you are married, which you would not waste time on if you weren't, but its ok. The most amazing thing is the satisfaction of knowing there is always an army on your side- what ever happens what ever you go into- some one is going into that with you. Its really nice.

There are lots of nice things actualy.. But to write more would be digging in my intimacy.. so long, I have finished my morning coffee ..