“Matthew and Ana”
Her granddaughter Johanna enters from the back of the house and passes the grannies perched around the balcony table, shakes her head disapprovingly, and walks down the street.
The moment Joanna was out of ear-reach Granny2, with her poker face and eyebrow tick, like gun shoots out the names of:
“ Johanna and Francis”
she throws a 50 note on to the table top, hits the surface with her fist than says
“Dominic and Valerie”
bringing down her fist upon the saucer and spilling the Turkish coffee over the table cloth and money.
“Not the way” reprimands granny 1 sweeping the plastic tablecloth with a sponge- She than rinces the money with water, and pegs it out to dry on the washing line.
“We are going in a circle , you know the rules, “Dominic and Valerie” are invalid. It is now her turn to place the bet.”
The third granny smiles acidley with a cigarette between her teeth and says:
“Dominic and Valerie”
She places 130 on to the table and then squashes the cigarette butt in the ash tray proceeding to deliberately fann smoke at the face of granny2.
Granny 2 rises in rampage toppling the plastic chair behind her and shouts an insult at granny 3 “
“ You old goat”
Granny 3 replies:
“You old cow”
Granny 1 replies to this “ Wait a moment I have not yet written down the date you are betting upon”
“Your granddaughter three years from today” Granny2 exhales’ and then waits to see if her intended insult has been received as such by granny 1, for she had on purpose suggested that the granddaughter is not capable of getting wed..
“ As for Valerie I would have bet on 2 months from now for that girl wears a miniskirt like a putain standing next to the fascist army barracks, and Dominic is as stupid and shallow as a frying pan.”
Granny 3 lighting her fifth cigarette cackles and speaks her bet “ I bet they get married in 3 months and a week”
“Allright I am writing it in” Granny 1 takes out a thick old note book wrapped in plastic covers and neatly writes the number 145 at the top of the first free page. Two spaces beneath she writes todays date, name of granny 2 , and the date up until which the bet of 50 pounds placed on Mathew and Johanna is valid. She than inscribes granny 2’s name and the expiry date of her bet of 130 pounds placed on Valery and Dominic, after which she writes in her own bet. Grandma 1 than takes a wooden casket, unlocks it placing the now dry bills inside and locks it again to finaly return it deep into the back of the credenza behind the ironed bed sheets.
Betting on who will marry who is a favorite sport of the Kastelan Grandmothers. This activity they hide well from their daughters, police and the confession at church, all the while day in day out they sit in the shade ready bet their money on young people they have only heard about as well as those who pass trough their street.
They watch children growing up and make small change bets on potential marriage partners whilst they are still at pre-school, but when girls graduate high school the grannies go wild. Than they dare make the big bets. And its not like the grannies do not care for details, the bigger boobs a girls has the bigger a bet a granny makes, knowing that return of her money will be made at the fastest pace. The smallest amount of money they bet on girls who are studying for many years, and when they apply for masters or a doctorate, the grannies withdraw their bets because there is far too great a risk in their professional opinion that the girls will become spinsters.
If you think that this is funny, you are simply not conscious that you have been the victim of like grannies. When you encounter nice old ladies sitting on the bench in the early evening do not believe that they are there to willing fully catch a chill, they are indeed there to become better informed and about the possibilities of earning more. When you pass by their two pairs of spectacles on the nose, they quickly note on the inside covers of their bibles your name, height, age, education, the family you come from and the family’s heritage. When they thoroughly understand everything about you, your name goes down in to the book of bets.
There appear at times problems in their system as being old they remember better their youth and make bets on already berthed couples, or start gossip by suggesting married individuals ought to go off with others than the spouse. Years of experience does mean they do guess a majority, if they lost their money so often they would not be making bets,.
If you are uncertain as whom and when you ought to marry, just glance into the granny book of bets and you will discover both your spouse to be and the date of your wedding .
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